I hate paying bills. It’s a trigger, reminding me how I’ve struggled financially due to burnout and job loss. I’ve got a lot of shame issues around this.
Utilities are especially pernicious, because when they get cut off, everything stops. A few years ago, I was struggling on many fronts, working long hours, barely sleeping, barely staying connected to family and friends. I was overwhelmed, falling behind on basic life upkeep.
So I’d often forget to pay my utilities, and my electricity would get turned off every other month. I’d pay the $100 reconnect fee and the past-due balance, then swear it would never happen again. And because I traveled a lot for work, when the power got turned off, the food in my fridge would often go bad by the time I returned home.
Things got so bad that every day when I’d come home from work, I’d wonder if this was the day that the power got turned off. So I’d unlock my door, take a deep breath, flip the light switch and keep my fingers crossed.
Through this ritual, I convinced myself that I was terrible at adulting and would never improve.
Eventually, things came to a head, as they always do. I got sick and ended up in the hospital. It forced me to slow down and get help, which came from many fronts: therapy, ADDA, and a better meds strategy.
Getting help also helped me work through my shame issues. One of the things I did to deal with ADHD and shame was to build better systems, like putting all my utilities on autopay. This simple solution took enormous stress off me. More importantly, because of the help I received through ADDA, I found a coach and began addressing the root causes of my burnout and job loss struggles.
ADDA helped me go from shame to systems. That’s why I’m sharing my story, to help ADDA get the money they need to keep their own lights on, and help thousands of people like me to rewrite their own stories.
No more spoiled food or ruined futures. That’s the life-saving work of ADDA. Please join ADDA today, and please, give what you can.
Anonymous, ADDA Volunteer