For the past two years, I’ve blocked out my emotions. I feel this led to my impulsive behavior including taking illegal drugs, risky sexual behavior, skipping school and more. It all stemmed from a lack of self-control.
Of course, I eventually got caught, and as I looked back at what I had done, I felt embarrassed at how my impulsiveness had affected the people who love me. I was left feeling hopeless because unless I was able to develop some self-control, I was certain that no matter how hard I tried, I would end up back in the same situation.
Finally, unable to deal with the overwhelming emotions, I broke down while with my mother, and I finally told her I needed help controlling my impulses. It was the only chance I had to prevent repeating the same mistakes and landing in trouble again. Without it, I had no chance at a positive future.
I find it’s been a tremendous help since starting therapy. Therapy has helped me learn about my conditions and also provided me with proactive ways to deal with my symptoms. Since starting therapy, I haven’t had a manic episode, and I know it’s because I took control. I wanted to prove to the people who had given up and lost faith in me that they were wrong.
I’ve had such an amazing improvement with just a few months of therapy that I just had to share it with everyone who might be going through a similar experience. It is still hard to stay positive, but I keep busy to motivate myself and to try to distract my mind from hyper focusing. I struggle daily, but I know I can’t rely on medicine to cure me.
I find it’s the little things that matter. My advice is not to spend your days feeling depressed or down. Treat each day like you’re making a memory to look back on. Try to make each one a positive experience so when you look back, you can say you had a good life and you lived happily.
I hope this helps anyone out there who is losing control, feeling hopeless or wanting to give up.