Therapy Helped Me Take Back Control

By Nightshade

For the past two years, I’ve blocked out my emotions. I feel this led to my impulsive behavior including taking illegal drugs, risky sexual behavior, skipping school and more. It all stemmed from a lack of self-control.

Of course, I eventually got caught, and as I looked back at what I had done, I felt embarrassed at how my impulsiveness had affected the people who love me. I was left feeling hopeless because unless I was able to develop some self-control, I was certain that no matter how hard I tried, I would end up back in the same situation.

Finally, unable to deal with the overwhelming emotions, I broke down while with my mother, and I finally told her I needed help controlling my impulses. It was the only chance I had to prevent repeating the same mistakes and landing in trouble again. Without it, I had no chance at a positive future.

I find it’s been a tremendous help since starting therapy. Therapy has helped me learn about my conditions and also provided me with proactive ways to deal with my symptoms. Since starting therapy, I haven’t had a manic episode, and I know it’s because I took control. I wanted to prove to the people who had given up and lost faith in me that they were wrong.

I’ve had such an amazing improvement with just a few months of therapy that I just had to share it with everyone who might be going through a similar experience. It is still hard to stay positive, but I keep busy to motivate myself and to try to distract my mind from hyper focusing. I struggle daily, but I know I can’t rely on medicine to cure me.
I find it’s the little things that matter. My advice is not to spend your days feeling depressed or down. Treat each day like you’re making a memory to look back on. Try to make each one a positive experience so when you look back, you can say you had a good life and you lived happily.

I hope this helps anyone out there who is losing control, feeling hopeless or wanting to give up.

    • Dennis
    • June 17, 2018
    Reply

    For me, nothing but confronting head on my personal personality made it possible for me to consciously accept that I DO think of some things differently than others do and that I’m not crazy because I do.
    I’ve been well organized for most of my life but a toxic marriage really brought my symptoms to the forefront.
    Medication has been somewhat helpful but mainly my constantly reviewing what it is I’ve been struggling with and working to curb some of my personal habits has been the most useful change I’ve done.
    I’ve also accepted that I’ll likely live the rest of my life alone because I do not want to put anyone else through some of the things that ADHD partners have written about on this website. Perhaps if I isolate myself to a certain degree I’ll be able to otherwise find and maintain personal relationships so that the other person can get what they like about me and not have to deal with any of my ADHD symptoms?

    • Betty
    • October 9, 2017
    Reply

    You are an inspiration to me. I am impulsive sometimes but when thwarted get upset then depressed. I need to do what you did

    • Sylvia Davies
    • October 3, 2017
    Reply

    My adult Son uses Vetifer to help keep him calm. It’s an essential oil and you just inhale the smell two or three times a day.

    • Gloria
    • September 1, 2017
    Reply

    I am 47 and just got diagnosed with ADHD & anxiety disorder. There’s 8 in my family with ADHD. I have lived a life of impulsivity & was ruled by my emotions. You’re story inspires me because although medication helps with alot of symptoms, I know I need behavior therapy as well. Before starting medications, I was on 7 blood pressure pills a day. I was concerned about taking CNS & how it would effect my BP. Had been on BP meds since I was 34. I was totally amazed that stimulants actually normalized my BP. Haven’t had to take BP meds since being treated. I am looking forward to starting therapy to see how much it helps.

    • Jerry
    • August 10, 2017
    Reply

    I’ve done it all. I’ve tried to blow off ADHD but it keeps showing up. I’ve tried CBT, one on one peer counseling. I tried non stimulant drugs but the battle rages on. Now I find drugs, alcohol, unsafe sex and all the BS don’t mean a damn thing. I take 36 different types of meds and supplements to help me be normal, the ADHD bullshit never goes away.

      • Paul
      • November 6, 2017
      Reply

      Jerry,
      I don’t know if this will mean anything to you coming from a stranger, but please don’t waste energy trying achieve “normality”. You are normal.

      The battles that rage on for me, I find, are difficult to identify as ADHD or personality flaws.. that’s what depresses me the most; not knowing what to call my terrible choices but eventually coming to accept their mine.

      There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes. There’s nothing wrong with looking back and having regrets. That’s all normal. The only thing anyone can do is take their steps toward what they envision their better self to be. One. Step. At. A. Time.

      Failure is inevitable along the way. I like to think of each failure as drops of kibble for growth and development. I spent enough of my time letting failure eat my heart out from the inside and ravage my stomach. I know where it gets me- nowhere. So after feeling sad for a while, I pick myself up and try again.

      I’m astonished by the progress I’ve made in 2 years of actively changing my lifestyle. I’ve tried about 40 times to start regular workout routines, but I’m plagued by what I call “the two week curse”, which is self explanatory.

      However, although I’m working out infrequently, I’m working out… Although I forget to check my calendar sometimes, it saves my rear end when I do remember to check it.. I may really let down my girlfriend and make her feel bad sometimes, but I do whatever I can to SHOW her I love her.

      I’m like a seismologist constantly monitoring my tectonic shifts, acknowledging when I’m irritable and when I know I’m being childish just to communicate it!! I’ve always had such a hard time expressing my emotions, but I’m blessed with a very appreciative relationship that has fostered honesty and direct communication.

      “I’m feelin hot today baby, I’m sorry. I just need a few minutes to cool down.” And she waits for me patiently, as I do for her.

      It all helps. Forcing your way through therapy and medicine won’t help if you don’t do the more dreaded, challenging homework, too. But I promise you, the homework is well worth the emotional outcome.

      To anyone and everyone, I hope that this was something you can connect to and feel comforted by. You’re not alone. Although we may have different challenges throughout our daily lives, we all have something in common: the capacity to grow.

      Little by little, you can build something much bigger than you imagined.

        • felix
        • November 16, 2017
        Reply

        Hello Paul,
        thank you very much for your very deep and elaborate words- one can feel you know what you are talking about and I feel somehow a close friend is helping me getting on the right track again.
        I think I m gonna print out your post and put it above my desk so I may not start from beginning anytime soon, even if I make some progress regarding my homework..

    • Travis Patzer
    • August 9, 2017
    Reply

    Thanks for your experiences I have wasted 40 years of my life with abusing drugs and alcohol. I just start my journey to a happier life.
    Thank you for your story

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