The Long Road to My ADHD Diagnoses
By Tracey
My name is Tracey. I am 50 years old. I have ADHD.
Getting to where I could say that wasn’t an easy journey. I want to share the story of how I finally got that ADHD diagnosis. I was only diagnosed recently, and you would think that it took so long because it wasn’t obvious that I had ADHD. But no. On my recent testing, I scored 9 out of a possible 9!
In my family, everyone said that I wasn’t even out of the womb and I was already running. That has been my explanation to others for fifty years why I do everything faster than the normal person. I’ve always had ADHD, of course. But I only recently diagnosed myself by filling out an online self-assessment. I had been searching online, looking for a name for my behaviour because I’d had enough of the long running jokes.
After my friends saying I had ADHD for years, out of curiosity, I finally took the test. I scored 96 per cent! Armed with this information, I visited my doctor. I demanded he refer me to see what would be my fourth therapist. This time, I swore I was not going to let him tell me I was fine. If we did not do something, I did not know what would happen. I felt I was dying. At least mentally.
My new therapist gave me the official test where I scored 9 out of 9 again. I am now taking medication, and I continue to see the doctor monthly. The medication has raised my blood pressure, which has the doctor concerned. He wants me to work on lowering my blood pressure or he will stop the medication. I lowered the dose of my stimulant and I find even that is strong! I had been on a higher dose, but I didn’t like it because it made my mouth so dry. I’m better on the lower dose, although it’s not a miracle cure.
I’m still fast. And I talk a lot. But I’ve done that for half a century. It makes make me more mindful! But, I’m not out of the woods yet. I’m still learning about my ADHD symptoms and I realize it explains a lot. Mornings are still very much an effort for me. I haven’t been able to work due to this. Every day I discover new evidence of my ADHD.
I have always hated basic housework. And I still do – that hasn’t changed. My wonderful twins have to tell me to clean my room and wash up the nine cups I left in the sink. I’m quite happy in my messy room. I can’t see what others see. Our minds most definitely work differently.
In the U.K., where I live, I find we are still very behind in recognising ADHD. It seems in the U.S., you have nailed it. You seem to recognise it and have organisations that offer support and meetings. I even have to educate my therapist!
I still have lots of work to do. I am far from cured! But on a positive note, I’m very proud of some of the behaviours that seem to come with my ADHD. My ADHD means I’m not shy about sharing about my ADHD, and I love talking to people about it.
I will keep in touch with other ADDA members. I love the way we discuss things and offer support for each other. If we all stick together, we can have huge influence on raising awareness of ADHD around the world!
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16 Comments
I feel the same Tracy. I also have ADHD and was not diagnosed until my 50s. The doctor that was subscribing my medicine retired 6 months ago…and my new doctor completly cut me off!! I felt like i lost my best friend. I lost my job and everything. I have recently found a new therapist and have my first appointment in a few weeks. Wish me luck!!
Im Gayle, and just getting diagnosed with ADHD this year. They kept telling me I was bipolar. I have every last symptom of ADHD, and am taking Ridlin at the moment, but it doesn’t work. Im driving my husband nuts. I got a new Dr. that I will be going to see this month. Im taking all the paperwork for ADHD symptoms in adults, and my marks on everything, so he can see how bad it is. Im also taking my husband with me!! Btw, he’s my 4th husband. Im wondering if the ADHD had anything to do with the past 3 divorces. I still get along great with all 3, just can’t live with them, or rather them with me.
I wish you all the best, and please pray for me that this Dr. will listen.
Depressed, unfocused, forgetful, easily sidetracked, restless ~Gayle from Wisconsin~
I am desperately seeking a qualified Dr. To test me for ADHD. I am a 48 yr old female. I stopped asking for an evaluation because they are so topical and opinionated. I am so frustrated! Looking to Neurology now.
Learning you have ADHD as an adult female is very hard, I agree. I am now 60, being diagnosed at 59. I felt the meds were like a miracle drug for me! I could finally focus on details at work and pay attention at seminars and workshops! But the medication is not enough to control my impulsive behavior, which is the most most life debilitating symptom that I have of my ADHD. I have purchased 2 cars on a whim, just passing through town…..I recently left my husband without warning. Theses behaviors have the ability to destroy my life. I love my life and my husband. He fortunately took me back after I’d been gone for 3 months. But who knows how long it’ll be before I do something this insane again. I contacted an ADHD coach, who told me my issues were too big for her. So now what?
Sigh
It’s amazing so many of us 1) are diagnosed later in life and 2) have to “fight” to be believed!
Ladies…. My heart goes out to you, all of you not able to find someone who can help you. I am a Non-ADHD adult married to a man who has ADHD. I did not understand the dynamics of dealing with this; for the sake of giving it a name, I will call it “this” because “this” is real. Earlier this year I was going to leave him because I found myself without the tools to deal with the impulsive behavior. I am a reader so I started searching the web for answers. Yes, there is a lot of information out there but there are a lot of people who really do not treat ADHD.
His doctor was treating the depression, not his ADHD, which I did not fully understand until I started going to his doctors visits with him. Also what I learned is what he felt was normal was not mentioned to his doctor and I will repeat what he would say to me “it didn’t come up”. At this point I had to decide whether I was going to fight for him or be angry at him. Fighting for him became my mission after reading the book, Is It You, Me, or ADD? by Gina Pera. I had been reading doctors bogs, WebMed and read inserts from Dr. Russell Barkley. The book was the an eye opener and if any of you have not read it, please read.
We joined a group that is a support group for ADHD adults and we did find doctors who are working with him to help with his anxiety, depression, motivation and focus; however, he is still trying new medicines to find which works best.
He is self employed and for him that was a life saver. Patty, before I started getting involved with educating myself my husband left me but came back. He wasn’t gone long but somehow he felt leaving and finding someone who would be nice to him was the answer. Him leaving me was a setback for me because I was already feeling emotionally drained dealing with him not following through with anything and financially was spending more than he was making.
Our relationship was built on finding one another later in life. His charm and quick wit took me by surprise and we started dating. We did not date very long before he was wanting to get married. I had been divorced for many years so getting married was not on my radar but we got along so well and during this time we did not live together. Once we were married, I got to know him on a different level.
Feeling I made a mistake, I wasn’t sure if I could deal with the instability he was causing in our household. I do not know your reasons but I understand more now since we started counselling (ADHD, family and marriage). I did not understand how his brain works and he can’t deal with me wanting him to take responsibility around the house. This is just not going to happen because he simply putting it, he does not see what I see. I clean the kitchen after dinner and I generally do not eat anything before bedtime. I have a routine of getting to bed around 10. He has no bedtime, often coming to bed at 2 or 3 am and his nighttime eating is non-stop. He is not retired and I do not know how he does it but works everyday. Waking up is hard for him but once he is up, he is out the door. He has no problem leaving the kitchen untidy or his clothes thrown where they lay… this is life for him and nothing I said to him would get him to pick up “his” messes. To him, he doesn’t see any problem with not cleaning up after himself or putting things away.
Medicine: Talk about the medicines given to him – I am not sure which is worse, taking them or not taking them. He can’t fall asleep so he takes anxiety and sleep aids. To get his day started he takes ADHD medicines.
I hope I have not offended anyone but please if you want to write to me, I am open for comments.
Tracey – my story is the same as yours. Just diagnosed this year at 49. Everyone was always telling me to slow down. My kids tell me I talk non-stop. They scored me at an 8 , which was no surprise to me. My dr is trying to find the right medication for me. I am on the highest dose of one and it only works for a few hours. I am not giving up. I hear too many people say that once the meds are correct it’s like you have a new life. So glad I found this group.
Omg! Reading all this has made me…. well, I don’t know what it’s made me but I’m 36 and convinced I have ADHD. I’ve spent 10 years being diagnosed with depression anxiety binge eating disorder. I’ve seen numerous therapists who have touched on me having symptoms but not full on bipolar then sensory processing disorder . I mean how does that even happen?! A friend suggested ADHD which I never even considered but now since doing my reasearch I’m convinced. Everything makes sense I score high on online tests and suddenly I realised I finally know who I am. However, a psychiatrist who had to refrain from laughing at me , told behind a smirk on her face a do Not have adhd. It anxiety! How after 10mins of meeting me can she judge me like that?! I walked out crying and 3months I’m trying to get another psychiatrist in hope they will be slightly more empathetic. Yesterday I told my sister who was like no help she just rolled her eyes at me. Now I’m starting to think I should just give up and accept how I am and be done with it!!! Reading this ahas given me the strength and determination to carry on…..for now at least……until something ‘more interesting’ catches my minds eye! Good luck guys with your journeys!!! Xx
Hello Lydia, your story is so similar to mine, but I now finally have an official diagnosis. Nobody believed me! After seeing 3 different Doctors, I finally got a referral to a Psychiatrist who took me seriously. I have come to realise though that the problem of ignorance is theirs, and the ADHD is mine. So it’s my job to educate them. Good luck with your journey! Lucy from Australia (-;
I read your post and it made me feel compassion for you. How alone and misunderstood you must have felt. If only people, were more understanding and educated about ADHD and people with disabilities in general. I recently had a weekend trip with a group of friends. I felt alone and alienated a few times on trip. All due to my ADHD symptoms. I had overheard one person commenting about how I “stare into space” all the time. I was also criticized for “acting out” when I broke put into a dance or singing. (Impulsivity). Many times I zoned out during conversations so I felt out of touch. I came back from the weekend trip and sobbed. I feel like people don’t connect with me or can’t or i don’t know to have friends. Its a really alone feeling and i HOPE it gets better with treatment and education.
I can relate. At the age of 50, I returned to college to earn a masters degree. It wasn’t until I had to write my first paper that I knew something was wrong. My brain was a blender on full speed. I knew the material, but could not write one word! I sat at my computer and cried. It felt as though I had taken on a project I was totally incapable of completing. I had been labeled “stupid “ as a child because I could not pay attention, was behind in reading, and got into trouble for talking all the time.
I decided to take responsibility for my own welfare and was tested. Ironically, I was working on a masters degree in special education. After taking a few courses, I knew I had valid concerns.
The tests confirmed a diagnosis of ADHD. When I started medication I slowly began to see a noticeable difference in my performance. I cried. I never knew what I was capable of. I had barely made it through undergrad, but graduated with a 4.0 from grad school!
I am now 58 and just found a doctor with Psychopharmacological PhD. He is a compassionate doctor who knows exactly what I am going through and is helping me manage my life. It is a journey and a process. There is no magic bullet or miracle drug, but there is hope. I know that each day will bring its challenges, but I am confident I can get through it!
Oh my Goodness! This thread so strongly mirrors my life, I am overwhelmed.
I am 47. Recently my 21 year old daughter suggested that she and I both have ADHD. Even as a former mental health professional it had never occurred to me. But it all makes perfect sense.
The first self scoring test I took from this site scores me at 100%!!
This year I have recently been diagnosed as having hypermobility syndrome. Off to the GP for another referral request I guess. Wow.
Hi, I’m Jenny and right now I feel like I am losing my mind. I was diagnosed with ADD many years ago, I am now 61 years old and have been through so many doctors, talk doctors and diagnosed with bipolar (I still don’t believe and it’s so great to hear others have been down this road). I have anxiety to the point today my hands are shaking and brain fog is horrible. I have high blood pressure and being prescribed low does of medication for BP-since all the others haven’t worked, plus I just learned I have a leaky heart valve. I don’t feel any different on the medication-also taking meds for depression and anxiety-low dose of Klonipine). will start seeing yet another prescribing doc next month-I don’t think the one I have seen to part several years is much more than someone throwing a dart at a dart board to see if this one (meds) work. I have tried to find a support group in my area but no luck. I live between DE and MD if anyone knows of a group please let me know. I do yoga when I “can” and I’m ashamed to have company in my house because it is such a mess-I was able to keep a neater house when married-I think the motivation/whatever it is in our bodies made me have the energy to complete house work. I am trying to sort out my “maybe I’ll need this later” stuff because I read in an ADD book there’s no point in having stuff if you can’t find it. I just want an easy going neat problem solving life the rest of the years I am able to have.
Maybe one of the symptoms of ADHD is late development…………I’m 71, living in the UK and was only diagnosed last year by my counsellor who I had been seeng for 12 months.. Both my GP and the psychiatrist he referred me to refuted the idea. “You have this condition from birth, you don’t suddenly develop it in later life”. Well ADHD wasn’t identified until the 80’s and I was born in ’48. Perhaps having had 4 husbands might be an inkling ? The last one died after 2 years and he was 10 years my junior, otherwise that marriage would have ended in divorce as well. I’ve lived on my own now for 4 years and life is so much easier but very lonely. My two girls kept saying to me when I was in my 50’s, and they in their 20’s, “Behave, Mom!” My answer to which was, “Why?” To my mind I wasn’t misbehaving, I was just having fun. It’s such a relief to get a diagnosis. Ive just got to get used to and accept. the symptoms. My brain is wired differently that’s why I don’t have friends, acquaintances yes, and I’m estranged from my 2 sisters and my 2 daughters, who are estranged from their respective siblings. I’m a mis-understood teenager lol.
Hi Tracey!
I am from the US and I am experiencing similar problems. I would love to say the US has this thing down but I find there are many people still undiagnosed. Here, there is a stigma about ADHD and if you aren’t disruptive or bouncing off the walls, ADHD doesn’t even come up.
I am 24 years old and just in the last six months realized I have ADHD. I, like many other people my age, discovered this through therapist and ADHDers on TikTok. I related to every video I saw.
My whole life I have struggled with inattention. My friends and family always said it was clumsiness and forgetfulness. However, my symptoms prevented me from ever being successful in high school, sports, and college.
This past August, I talked to my therapist about my symptoms and she tested me on it. She said I qualify for an ADD diagnosis (which was my first red flag as it is no longer referred to as ADD) but she would not officially diagnose me because I was over the age of 12.
This really upset me because I obviously have been living with since before I was 12 but because they did not catch it then, she would not diagnose me. She also made the decision about medication for me saying “you don’t even want to think about it”. Needless to say, I no longer see her. Luckily, I am on stimulants for my depression so I asked my doctor and she upped my dosage. I have experienced high blood pressure and dry mouth but I never thought they were from my medication.
I wish you the best and hope you will find peace with your new-found information.
It’s interesting to know that one’s blood pressure can also be affected when getting medication for ADHD. I’m interested in learning more about how child ADHD diagnosis is done because my daughter seems to be showing signs of it. If she really has ADHD, it will greatly improve her education if adjustments could be made to account for that.