I was tested and diagnosed with ADHD at age 7 in the 1st grade. That’s when I first remember feeling different from my peers. I endured dark blows of criticism and negative affirmations from those that surrounded me.
I didn’t want to acknowledge or accept my ADHD because I thought it would always make me a target for negativity. For many years I continued to struggle and suffer by not acknowledging my ADHD nor willing to seek medical help to stay on top of it.
Through those years of struggle I was depressed and even suicidal. For the majority of my teenage years I battled with self-mutilation by harming my wrists for pain release. I never told my mother or father what I was struggling with because I wanted to keep it all to myself. My life was very dark and hard to deal with. Being ashamed or not acknowledging ADHD caused a lot of darkness.
It wasn’t until I gave birth to my second child and was diagnosed with postpartum depression that I was forced to deal with my other conditions. During that time I was retested for ADHD and began giving my diagnosis the proper attention.
To negate the depression I move myself and process those thoughts. I also see a therapist and psychiatrist who are wonderful in assisting me. For my ADHD I’ve learned to take it nice and slow. If I have to review something more than once I don’t consider it an issue.
I am relieved now as an adult I’m able to live with ADHD and depression because I know that it is just a part of my life. This is the light in the darkness that is not giving either diagnosis power over me.