• Start
    • ADHD Test
    • New to ADDA
    • Join ADDA
    • ADHD: THE FACTS
    • ADDA Resources
    • ADDA FAQs
  • Connect
    • Virtual Support Groups
    • Professional Directory
    • Talk to an ADDA Ambassador
    • More Ways to Connect
    • Event Calendar
  • Grow
    • ADDA Courses/Webinars
    • Virtual Workshops
    • ADDA Programs
    • ADDA Resources
    • Library
  • Serve
    • Volunteer
    • Sponsors
  • Shop
    • Advertise
  • About
    • Mission
    • ADDA Board of Directors
    • Professional Advisory Board
    • ADDA Position Statements
    • Contact
  • Donate
  • JOIN ADDA
Member Login
ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association
  • Start
    • ADHD Test
    • New to ADDA
    • Join ADDA
    • ADHD: THE FACTS
    • ADDA Resources
    • ADDA FAQs
  • Connect
    • Virtual Support Groups
    • Professional Directory
    • Talk to an ADDA Ambassador
    • More Ways to Connect
    • Event Calendar
  • Grow
    • ADDA Courses/Webinars
    • Virtual Workshops
    • ADDA Programs
    • ADDA Resources
    • Library
  • Serve
    • Volunteer
    • Sponsors
  • Shop
    • Advertise
  • About
    • Mission
    • ADDA Board of Directors
    • Professional Advisory Board
    • ADDA Position Statements
    • Contact
  • Donate
  • JOIN ADDA

Stories

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Stories
  • Entering Hyperspace. Different. Misunderstood. Successful.

Entering Hyperspace. Different. Misunderstood. Successful.

  • Posted by Dan
  • Categories Stories
  • Date October 25, 2021
  • Comments 0 comment

by Dan

I never saw it coming. Never suspected anything was wrong. I’d always thought I was just the weird kid that nobody talked to. Nobody liked me. My only friends were those with special needs. I questioned everything growing up. My purpose, my sexuality, my ambitions, my future. Parents thought I just didn’t care and was a bad student. What was I doing here? Why did I exist? And for the love of God, where did I put my keys?

I Never Saw That Coming

As a teenager, I was bullied constantly, mentally and physically. My mother was a bipolar alcoholic, my father worked too hard to really slow down and run things the way he wanted to. I was forced to grow up much faster than someone like me should’ve. I took a stand at 13 years old and joined a karate dojo. At 16, I had my black belt. My first real achievement and one where I finally started to think that I COULD do something right. Still, I was weighed down by a video game addiction that only got worse over the years (and eventually led to compulsive gambling and self-destruction), constant family struggles, and lack of romantic interests. And don’t even get me started on my sex drive. I’m probably one of the most hyposexual ADHD people in the world.

Fast forward 30+ years, I’m diagnosed with Adult ADHD – Combined type. Well, damn, there it is. I’m not special, I’m different. But I’m superpowered. I got into a field that was perfect for me. Firefighter at age 18, Paramedic at 30 and now nursing. I can run a critical emergency call faster than anyone around me, blink and I have a treatment plan set up. Medical field is my niche, my home, where I’m at the most peace with myself and my condition.

There’s Good and There’s Bad

Things aren’t always great though, as I also suffer from emotional dysregulation and RSD. My anger can appear in an instant, and I hate that about myself. I really do. I carry a lot of guilt, toxic shame, and regrets. I absolutely hate being insulted and teased even as a grown adult. People have called me a man-child for a long time, a moniker I refuse to believe. Depression and anxiety appear from time to time.

Sounds like fun, huh? Sometimes it actually is. Others, not so much.

What a Wonderful Ride!

This is not going away. I struggle to deal with it even a year after being diagnosed. I don’t know where to start. Even after reading books, seeing therapists, trying support groups and such, the follow through disappears and I get accused of not caring enough. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I do care about people, I care about how my actions affect others, but damn if ADHD doesn’t rear its ugly head at the worst times.

One thing I am not, however, is a quitter. I’ll never quit. I will keep exploring ways to improve, keep trying to be better, and not lose track of progress and goals. I won’t stop. Ever. I’m a nurse now. My first full-time nursing job started this week. Finally, my life is taking shape after an incredibly late start. How much I’ve missed being wrapped up in my own head…wow. But Neurodivergent isn’t evil. It’s different. Misunderstood. And successful. All things considered, what a wonderful ride this is.

  • Share:
author avatar
Dan

Previous post

TADD 2021 - From Doctorate to Diagnosis with Casey Dixon and Melanie Sobocinski
October 25, 2021

Next post

TADD 2021 - Redefining Your Own Success With Linda Walker
October 26, 2021

You may also like

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) is the world’s leading adult ADHD organization.
The Power of Your Story
10 May, 2022
Bruce Eastman, ADHD Coach
One Year Ago
18 February, 2022
Smiling girl decorating a Christmas tree.
The Christmas Meltdown
21 December, 2021

Leave A Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CATEGORIES

  • Acceptance and Change
  • ADDA
  • Addiction
  • ADHD & Creativity
  • ADHD and the Brain
  • ADHD Awareness & Advocacy
  • ADHD Diagnosis
  • ADHD in College
  • ADHD in Retirement
  • ADHD in the Workplace
  • ADHD Research
  • ADHD Treatment
  • Alternative Treatments
  • Anxiety
  • Book & Product Reviews
  • Coaches’ Corner
  • Coaching
  • Corrections
  • Dual Diagnoses & Other Conditions
  • Executive Functioning
  • Finances
  • Health, Fitness & Nutrition
  • Healthy ADHD with Liz Lewis
  • Intersections: ADHD & ?
  • Interviews with ADHD Inspirations, Professionals, & Advocates
  • Managing Holiday Stress
  • News
  • Organizing
  • Parenting with ADHD
  • Press Release Archive
  • Press Releases
  • Productivity
  • Relationships
  • Technology
  • Twice Exceptional
  • Uncategorized
  • Women & ADHD

Copyright © Attention Deficit Disorder Association 2015-2022. All Rights Reserved.

ADDA delivers reliable information on ADHD. But ADDA’s content and services are no substitute for professional mental health or medical advice. Nor is it an alternative to ADHD diagnosis or treatment. Seek advice from your physician or qualified health provider for any medical condition.

  • Privacy
  • Contact ADDA