By Ellianna Carter
Wouldn’t it be convenient if we could all find perfect moderation? I mean in everything, but especially communication. Think how many problems that would solve!
See, I observed a problem, and I don’t think I am the only one. Everyone seems to say too little or too much!
What’s Your Conversational Style? Too Little? Too Much?
I fall on the side of too little. I don’t like to say much because I’m worried my ideas will get shot down. And sometimes I get overwhelmed by my friends on the opposite end. Some people have so much to say and stories to tell and lots of communication – only it’s a little one-sided.
So, I tried to learn a little more about communication moderation. And I learned some helpful tips to manage my communication that I’d love to share with you!
Helpful Tips to Manage Your Communication
People who don’t talk very much can benefit from learning to share their stories. When I realized that I wasn’t getting much talking time in my friend group, I asked them to listen to me for a couple of minutes while I told them about what was going on in my life. It’s also important that we do not allow ourselves to be talked over – I mean told by our friends and family what we can do and want to do. That’s easy to allow, but it’s not helpful. I learned all this from Doc Anderson’s webinar on telling your story.
People who do talk very much can benefit from learning to take some time to listen. Sometimes we’re so caught up in that funny thing that happened at work that we do not notice our partner or friend who hasn’t said a thing for ten minutes. It’s important to be conscious about hearing other people, too. Also, conversations can be distracting! Try planning for important conversations so that you can discuss all the important points.
It’s Not Magic, But It’s a Good Start
These tips aren’t magic, but they sure have improved my communication skills! When I know exactly what I need to do, it’s that much easier to, well… do it. And if I had to sum it all up, I’d say this: Everybody’s story is important. Mine, yours, everyone’s! Take the time to tell your story and let others tell theirs. It’s well worth the effort!
Ellianna was born in America, but spent most of her life in eSwatini, a tiny kingdom in southern Africa. This collision of cultures has made her a TCK – a Third Culture Kid – which is the subject of her blog.