An Artist’s First Job

By Duane Gordon

I’m an artist and I have ADHD. When I decided to begin working with a mentor to improve my art, I expected to improve my artistic skills. What I didn’t realize at the time, was just how broadly applicable this work would be. Even when discussing composition and color, we spend the most time (and do the hardest work) on self-awareness. My mentor explains that an artist’s first and most important task is self-discovery; an artist’s most valuable asset is self-awareness. It seems that statement doesn’t just apply to artists.

Life is easier when you learn from your mistakes and from your successes, but ADHD can make this difficult. When things go well, we’re eager to move to the next exciting thing and we don’t pause to consider the lessons in our success. We don’t think about how we could succeed in similar situations in the future. Perhaps we promise to mull it over later to identify successful strategies to re-apply in the future, but then we promptly forget, missing a great opportunity to improve our future performance in similar situations. When things go wrong, we replay events in our minds, but we chastise ourselves for our poor performance without seeking the lesson. Rather than choosing alternate responses and experimenting with different outcomes in our imaginations, we often spiral down into a black mood that we struggle to escape and want only to forget once we do.

One of an artist’s essential tools for self-discovery is a journal. I recommend it for everybody. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, recommends a practice called “Morning Pages.” Record your thoughts, complaints, revelations, ideas and expectations by writing three pages in your journal each morning. Your journal is a place to answer questions about yourself, to explore your values, needs, desires and goals. For the non-artist, three pages daily may be too big a commitment, but you can still achieve significant benefits writing far less.

Using a journal prompts you to reexamine your day for things to write about, to review your successes instead of forgetting them. It’s the perfect opportunity to identify what you did right. Describing it in your journal helps seal it in your memory, making it easier to repeat successful behavior in the future. And when things don’t go well, writing about it allows you to test alternate approaches in your imagination without beating yourself up. It’s very difficult to ruminate in writing.

I also use my journal to play out future scenarios. When preparing to face a situation I’m nervous or unsure about, writing about the encounter and the anticipated result imprints the thoughts of how things will go in my mind. Once I’m in the actual situation, I naturally follow the pattern of behavior I planned, and I’m able to keep a positive attitude by focusing on the success I foresee.

It is not enough to think about the things you’d normally write in your journal. The writing process helps your organize your thoughts into a coherent sequence. Since my thoughts tend to flit around, I often distract myself with a new idea before I’ve explored the previous one fully. Writing keeps me on track.

Journaling also makes it far easier to spot and eradicate self-sabotaging thoughts or self-judgments. If you keep repeating the phrase “I never do anything right” in your head, write it down and you will likely immediately recognize it as false. You’re free to erase this faulty thought and adopt a more positive approach.

You don’t need complicated tools. A pen or pencil, something to write on, and a desire to learn more about yourself are all it takes to start. You can’t do this wrong; it’s empowering. You just might accomplish things you never believed possible; I know I did.

Duane Gordon is a Canadian Landscape artist. His new collection celebrates the play of light on the geometry of the buildings of downtown Montreal as it illuminates, reflects on, refracts around or passes through the glass, steel and concrete of modern buildings. Visit his online gallery at www.duanegordon.com.